Holding Joy

I am lucky.
I am blessed.
I am present.
I am both Moon and Sun.
I am the tide that sweeps away your driftwood.
I am the dandelions you smile to see, then think to pull.
I am the ice cream you ate first and the icing you saved for last.
I am the impulse shirt you bought and love to wear.
I am the saving grace you didn't realise you called the heavens for.
I am the fight and the flight.
I am your motivation.
I am the distance that pulls you forth.
I am the memory you carry still.
I am lost in that moment you whispered hope into your coffee presuming no one heard.
I am present.
I am blessed.
I am .... lucky.
.... I am a random pointless prose on a Monday afternoon.

Episode 5.... CHAOS

Long over due... Our episode on chaos did evenutally come together.  However, there is a place or two the volume is really quiet.  We do hope you enjoy a quick look into our chaotic lives.  It's funny how there was so much chaos in the way of the making of this video.

Thank you Terese (director) for all the hard work.

We love to hear from you!  Is there anything you'd like to know about what training is like for a blind althete?  Any comments or questions please email rmavery@primus.ca

mood swings

Every run has a mood... Every hope has a dream.  Every coffee has a sip... Every sock, if worn long enough, gets a twist, as if to say..."Hello up there!!! We didn't agree to 36km!" Every day has a sunrise, even if you can't see it, even if you choose to ignore it, even if you hide your head under your pillow and ignore your alarm.  Every ounce of karma has a direction.

I ran on the trail today.  As I crossed that fence that takes me there, I found a coach standing.  I love coaches.  They are my inspiration.  They are my fuel.  They are my drive to see better in myself.  No I do not have a coach. I think they'd hate me too quickly.  Anyway, there stood this coach in her hoody, clip board in hand... Pen whistle stopwatch and mood.  Standing there...

Here comes the front runners... Highschool cross country? Time trials? Effort oozing...
 Every one of the runners I pass in the next 1km exude a different running mood.  each one I have had myself in the past... Some I like more than others.  Some I embody more than others.  Here is my list of running moods... as seen in the highschool track club.  Do you see yourself? What's your running mood?

The "Beast" - This guy, was in the zone... He was grinding his feet into the path as if to say... dam it move out of my way! Today I'm the only hero in my story... No smile, Just sweat.  No breathing.  Just effort. Just now.  Born from a nike commercial...

The "Tester" - This guy, found behind the other guy.... Was thinking out loud, I wonder if I pushed a bit harder what would happen?  I wonder if I'd gotten my other shoes on this morning if I could move just that much more effectively?  I wonder if shorts were a good idea today?  I wonder if I should pass the beast in front of me? I wonder if he'd be mad?  I wonder If I came back later, alone, if I could do it faster?

The "Grinner" - This guy... was catching bugs in his teeth he was smiling so big.  This guy was thinking about how he'd tell this story of third place to his proud momma at dinner.  This guy loved the way the world seemed to be offering him a fantastic day.  Lets face it, this guy had a fantastic day every day. 

The "Grimace" - This guy hated his coach.  This guy hated the wind up his shorts.  This guy stayed up too late.  Had gas from hot peppers, forgot his deodorant, knew he couldn't stand beside that pretty girl for the rest of the day... this guy was going back to school to drink a coke and fall asleep in math class... This guy pissed me off mostly because he was still running way faster than I ever could.

The "Proof" - This girl had full awareness.  This girl had perfect form.  Her gate was practised.  Her feet made no sound landing.  This girl was going to the olympics on hard work and skill.  This girl paved the gravel path in grace and kindness. 

The "Goof" - This guy was in Pj pants.  Showed up at school with tousled hair and figured he got points for showing up.  This guy was content to be in the sun instead of english class.  This guy embraced each step in a calm quiet excuse to slow down.  This guy was looking forward to telling his momma later how he really could have slept another five minutes that morning.  That "its all good momma!" as he runs back out the door to take out the trash without being asked...

The "Supporters" - These were my favourites... The girl jogging, not running beside the guy who was truly trying his best.  The girl fully acknowledging that her speed didn't matter if she had to go alone.  This girl quite content to be there in that moment, laughing and inspiring this guy who needed her for help and support.  Feeding off each other they would get it done, each with new happy running memories to take away.

The "Survivor" - The last of the pack... The football player that hasn't played in two years.  The guy that came out to the team practice because the coach looked at him like potential not like a has been.  The recently (last 15 minutes) ex-smoker with a dream.  The guy that would walk if he had to, the guy that would likely not say anything to his momma later... But the same guy who might go out on sunday after his chores were done... to see if he could run a little bit on his own. The guy who was gathering strength and following a new path.


Today was my day 468 day of running... I am a moody moody runner... Are you?