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Wednesday, October 1, 2008


Some things are timeless. Some memories last for what feels like eternity. Some people leave such a mark on your soul that they are, to you, unchanging. We'd like to remember them as they were. They, of course, are quite pleased with their personal growth and adaptability. Humans, as a collective (collective because we are most certainly not a herd, or family or swarm) as a collective then, are adaptable. But for some reason we see the characters in our memories as unchanging, as stuck reliving that time in their lives over and over again. I remember thinking as I grew up that everyone else around me was just there to watch. Look at me grow up. Very egocentric I know. Give me a break I was like two at the time and not a fan of higher thinking.... just play dough and stealing my sister's toys.

There are, now at my ripe old age, many things I have come to know as in constant flux and change. Timeless has become a concept for retro attachments and baby's memory books. Kid #2 started losing teeth. It's scary because he made it 6.5 years without any change and now - just all the sudden.... BANG teeth falling out. The ages and stages of my kids lives are only timeless in my memory. The crawling, walking, first words.... it's all changing. I've been in school now for a full five weeks. I've been running now for six. Time isn't standing still. Time is stealing itself away from me while I sleep. (or try to), while I ride the bus, while I type the words that are trapped inside longing to come out... time ticking away. I chose Massage Therapy because of the flexibility the career offers to me for the kids. I chose now as a good time to do it for two reasons; 1, we are broke, and 2. the kids are not incredibly old. The three years that this program is going to take will fly by without notice unless there are documented, detailed and memorized. I hate missing out on the moments that I'm away - and yet you learn to appreciate time more when you do leave, for intermittent seconds here and there.

My morning rant ends here - and my musical quote is from FF who says "for a moment".... so today i am deep breathing in the moments and remembering that I am not timeless.....

My running log - I'm behind on updates - Yesterday I ran my personal best 4.5 km (in the dark in the park with my group) in 33 minutes (although that may have something to do with fear of bears) this brings my total up to around 49km. The cell dollar today is trading high at 98.7 ATP.

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