Melted snow and dragonfire...

Snow melted and I hear the call of the worms...
Moon dancing and I feel the urge to move...  It calls me at 4am when I'm stirring for my books, ignoring my feet.  So close, reach to touch it... distraction takes me away.
Lost in a sea of responsibility - tasks to accomplish, greatness to attain...
Prays spoken in the dark, thoughts of future, fear of past and embracing the present....

Here I am - forever staring down the loss I nearly ran from.  Strength gained from the depths of could be despair.  Turn and fight. Life is a struggle, embrace the struggle.  Find a fight worth fighting. Fight for yourself. Struggle for your today.  Make it great.  Make it worth living  - because if you don't, who will?

Soon the books will be shelved.  Briefly the sleep will come.  Time will bring back my 5am runs.  Alone in the dark, with nothing but me and my proposed self struggling to see who will be victorious in the end. 

Soon the seasons will bring me the waters my arms wish to swim, the pedals which I will freely push downhill, uphill and around the corner... like a kid just free of training wheels.  Soon the trails will dry and I'll have a free day to press my imprint in the dirt. Soon there will be time enough to wave to the cows, wish for outhouses and long for water....

Time to breathe some dragonfire.....

365 days of running current total = 376km

Green beer and pots of gold

Tomorrow our happy running family will be headed to Toronto for the Achilles 5k st. Pattys run/walk.  Excited about this magical moment, its been too long since someone said "go!" and meant it.  Promising myself no racing until the completion of school is a long dry task.  It mimics taper in the oddest ways. Wake up early and instinctively wonder if I have the right socks on for my runners - then realise it's just my books I'm looking for.  Feeling incomplete.  Making due.  Managing. Surrounding myself with wonderful inspiring athletes who share their tales of races and successes.  It's bitter sweet.

Even tomorrow's race isn't a true race.  I'll be cheering on my 9yo and hubby, and walking with my 12yo and 3yo.  Most importantly welcoming back my guide post chemo treatments.  He was very much missed.  So tomorrow is a walk, followed of course by green beer and veggie chili.

Ottawa half marathon is so far away, and yet not far at all.  The snow needs to melt.  The grass needs to grow, the bees buzz and my feet run free.

One step at a time girl... one step at a time.