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Saturday, August 27, 2011

When you are ready...

I have to tell the tale of day 238 and how this all came to be... I have to spin the web of glorious everyday nothingness and see if I can pinpoint when it happened.  I've been a runner for officially three years this week. I've never in my life been in this place.  Right here, where I sit.. I feel ready, very nearly comfortable in my own skin and in the flow of some very sweet karma. Being comfortable in my own skin is the biggest accomplishment to date.  I share a delicate love hate relationship with food and all things self imposing.  However I've been winning this fight for a while.  Lately... I haven't even noticed it around.  I figure that counts beyond words, beyond all memories made and moments you'd like to forget forever.  I feel ready for what's coming.  Sprint tri (my first) a week from tomorrow.  And here I am... prepared in body and mind.  Here I stand being brave in the balance of an upcoming taper.  Here I stand tall when no one was looking.  Here I stand tall for me.  Here I stand.... ready.

750m open water tethered swim, 20km tandem fixed gear bike on hills we've never climbed, 5km tethered run.... I've only run tethered for 700m. 

I feel like throwing my hands up in the air and singing outloud highly off key... embracing this chaos of my life and riding the waves with nothing but my wetsuit on.  I feel like this time for me.  This time for me.

Day 238 was the day.  The magic started a few days before while running hills with extra weight trying to confuse myself into believing me capable.  That moment when you forget you are carrying anything.... That moment when you reach the top and know you did this... one step at a time.  I knew the flood gates were open.  Day 238 was my longest run. 26km guided trail run.  I haven't run that far in over 7 months.  Didn't know what to think but entered that run with an open heart and a spirit to find out what was possible. 

My guide and I moved through those kms like they were candy; each more sweet than the last.  Above is our turn around point.  We saw the sunrise on that trail and I saw hope right there in front of me.  Every possible barrier to my success in life stepped aside to grant me a glimpse of hope.  Hope is beautiful, hope is wholesome, hope is calmness and energy tangled together, hope is better than any words I could write to its credit.

Post run, no queasiness, no fear, no lingering soreness... In fact we went to the YMCA in town and attended our favourite class... "Simply strength" Every time I go to this class I feel like I've found a bit more of me lost in the droplets of sweat.  Our instructor knows I am a runner, however I did not inform him before just how far I'd gone.  Whether he could see my fatigue during class or not I'm not sure.  Just my luck we were working legs during this class.  After class I did tell him and managed to snap a picture of this wonderful trainer.... Wesley ... Cheers to you!

Everyone should have someone who kicks their butt once in a while....

After the class and the run... I have to say I just knew.  This is it.  I will be able to run a full marathon in Novemeber.  Sometimes the hope is in the knowing.  Sometimes hope is in the believing anyways... sometimes the hope is in your blood and you can't deny it.  You can't deny it or your future.

So here we are day 239 and I've biked 20km, swam 1500m, run a superfast (for me) treadmill km... and have no pain to report.  No doubts and no pains.  Chaffing and blisters aside my only complaint is that the world need to spin a little slower for me to enjoy ... for me to savour every last second ... of these 365 days.

day 239 of 365 days of running current total 1274.28km

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