.... as read Wednesday night at The Spill WORD UP poerty reading
Before the run...
In the quiet hushed moments of slumber before stupid o'clock rings on the alarm... I feel myself start to stir.
As if my soul knows it is about to tangle itself around the dirt in my shoes.
As if my third eye foresees the hill I've set out to run 5, 6, 7 + times soon.
As if acceptance isn't far behind and all of my being is saying.... “yes please”...
In the dark gentle miiliseconds of lost sleep after the shock of stupid o'clock.... I give myself hope.
It seeps into my bones like a caffeine drip, pushing my every go button.
It creeps through my veins like an inoculation against all things negative.
It crawls across my skin like the taste of forever on your lips.
In the anticipatory pause filled with steaming tea sipped by indiglo microwave numbers... I lose all fear.
It drips away from my neediness like honey on a spoon, slow and steady, making my hands sticky as it passes consciousness.
It oozes past my peripheral senses like neglected boogies on my sons cheek, reminding me of all I've forgotten.
It lingers briefly just past my reach as if tempting me one last time to re-embrace it with welcoming arms.
In the climatic seconds searching for my shoe in blackness, tripping over black kittens on the black rug.... I let myself laugh.
The giggle ripples through my nose faster than I can stiffle it down, threathening to rouse the sleeping house.
The giggle rushes to the surface of my happy, otherwise so carefully collected, or at least collecting dust.
The giggle bubbles out of the tears I'd let fall if I'd just remembered to pack a tissue or two for this morning's journey.
In the peaking heartbeat drama as I open the door greeting stupid o'clock with my run... I allow myself peace.
Peace of mind that I made this happen, this piece of me, running free in the dark... intangable and incoherent in headlamp and spandex.
Peace of freedom in that drop of sweat that just fell, christening the earth that blesses me with both space and time, so sweet as to give me wings.
Peace of heaven that fell from the sky, perhaps restarting the beat of these blind girl runner feet.
And in every moment before the run...another reason for the next footfall.