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Monday, September 15, 2008

amost as good as clean sheets

Ok so there are some things in life worth going on and on over. Like yesterday I put clean sheets on the bed. I know I know - sheets? You're going to talk about sheets? Well yes. But follow me on this one. Three kids, a dear hubby who works out of town and is gone 14 hour days, back to college, breastfeeding, pumping, chores, house stuff, cloth diapers - and blogging.... I don't know about you but I'm amazed I even made my bed, let alone put clean sheets on. So now, what's better than clean sheets? That's right, clean sheets and shaved legs. All the ladies know it. (Wow that was a very sexiest thing to suggest, I guess some of the ladies may not know it and select guys might be quite comfortable knowing it! Apologies)

What's the point right? Okay... school is going well; apart from the stress of running back and forth and staying up to do homework and packing lunches for four the night before, and missing out on an entirely good weekend to cook for a week. But this one awesome part about school is that my practice class requires that I shave before. (Again assumption there but I believe my partner thanks me.) Did I mention I'm training in massage therapy? What is the one thing moms never give themselves time to do? WHY shave of course! So that's my exciting rant of the day. Clean sheets and freshly shaved legs. How very grown up of me.

It's true though, all moms harbor guilt. Like it's our best friend.Guilt over time and space is my biggest one. Although food is a close second here. Kid's one and two are on gluten free diets and toddler 3 has undergone allergy elimination treatments to enable him to eat gluten etc. So now that I am able to eat that devilish, decadent stuff, I have guilt in eating it in front of them. Soon I tell them ... soon. But back to guilt; it is consuming. I feel wrong sitting here typing while there are chores to be done, homework calling me, lunches to finish making. So why am I?

It's therapeutic of course! (Just like the sheets) Chocolate aside, we all need to learn to mother ourselves. When we become mothers, we forget to mother ourselves. I find this interesting as at that very moment when you become a mother - your mother tends to think you've got it figured out. (SORRY MOM!) but it's true... the birth of each child has increased my mothering, further decreasing my mothers' mothering. So not only have I forgotten to mother myself, but my mother is constantly reminding me of the importance of such an activity. I need to mother myself. I need time and space and mental dialogues.... (side rant here, but the other day I was talking with dear hubby and he didn't respond. When I asked why, he said 'oh sorry I assumed that was part of the running dialogue' wow I guess I do have a running dialogue) Where was I ? Oh yes, what I need.... I need my family, I need good books to read, I need coffee and once in a while I love to spoil myself with shaved legs and clean sheets......

Now none of this would be possible without having all that I have and knowing all that I know and further being fully aware of the large amount of things I know nothing of... but today because I'm sharing the responsibility of who i have become, in the words of U2...." all because of you".... I knew enough to have clean sheets....


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