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Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Baby steps

The pitter patter of feet hit the floor today. Determination must be genetic as toddler 3 began walking at a run. There are no slow steady steps here. He is preparing to live his life in a manner that will exhaust his surroundings before he has had time to take them in. Like the computers that are nullified the moment you buy them or the cars that decrease in value as you drive them off the lot. Destined to be a nascar driver or a kung fu commercialist - he is going to take life on a full speed. We've found a reason for the year long insomnia. My efforts will switch from dancing without regret and shyness in the living room to teaching him deep breathing and stretching.

In the meantime, I am hoping that my running will provide enough energy to keep me awake to chase after him. I will have to figure out have to unstick his fast forward button. Now I really have uncovered my age.... I'm speaking VCR speak.

Yesterday in my anatomy class we were learning about our cells energy currency. ATP is the cell dollar. My new favourite saying has instantly become "today the cell dollar was trading low..." Managing not to run around in circles for the last week and a half is my biggest accomplishment. I have a hard time remembering bus times and classroom locations and focusing on the material. Interesting as the learning is, I am still stuck in the moment of my acceptance. Or even the moment when my dear hubby pushed that mouse button to accept my offer of acceptance. Insanity began in that millisecond. Responsibility doubled, and the spirits chanted their rain dance of pride. My heart might be in the focused learning - but my mind needs a zen recapture moment. A parasecond of time to imagine what I have done to my life.
One breathe at a time, one dance at a time, one baby step at a time.
D.G. reminds me that "Forever is tomorrow is today".... DEEP ZEN BREATHING!!!

Running log: approximately 19km maybe even 20km. It gets easier.

god, i hope it gets easier.

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