Investments

Life, and balance, are about investments. This I have decided, and only just this morning in the wee hours of dawn was my opinion heaved out of a thought and wedged into cement. With a slamming thud I began to believe that the thought that was once lingering and wavering above my head - was actually now settling itself into the foundation blocks of my values, my core beliefs. How did I come to this cross roads? That is a difficult question.

No one seems to need you until you have to walk away. When your feet are stuck in the sand and you continue to shout 'I'm here, what can I do for you?' the world keeps spinning. But the instant that you maneuver your soul in a variant direction - there is this pause and then a realization that wait a minute... change is afoot. Investment is not as simple as standing still and waiting for direction, or being ever present and ready for the storm. It's more complicated. It involves an inspiration and imagination that provokes involvement at a deeper level. It's more like, forward thinking about the needs and hopes of others and streamlining the cosmos to help before you're asked. Like yesterday, I made a weeks worth of meals in preparation for the first week of school/classes. Forward thinking instead of standing in the kitchen ten minutes before dinner is suppose to be ready... tapping my toes... wondering where to start.

The thing is, it's particularly comforting to slip into a routine of being ever-present. It's not that far removed from being taken for granted. As the saying goes 'we don't know what we've got until its abducted by aliens' or something like that. Blame aside, I'm the one having made myself ever-present. The expectations of others set themselves around that as a starting point. And so, instead of getting upset and being melancholy; I'm changing course. I'm moving to investing.

My grass is happier when I think about it before it's ten feet tall or brown. My kids are happier when I steer them into an activity before they start arguing. My mental state is much more balanced when I invest in a positive outlook. Sort of a bank deposit thing.

This morning dawned on my second attempt at running. Three things occurred to me as I was struggling to keep oxygen in my body; 1) running is like moving furniture, if you stop in the middle because you're tired, you are likely to have a fridge in the living room; 2) if I can stay awake with insomniac baby 3 for eleven months, I can do this; and 3) baby 3 will need to transition with me into investments, as baby 3 was particularly cranky that i left at 6:00am. In the end however I still managed a second interval run of nearly 30 minutes and a hopeful distance of (assumption here) nearly 3 km again.

And so I'm off to start my investment lifestyle. I'm definitely starting by investing in a new sports bra.

Today, in the words of T.P, I'm "learning to fly".....