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Thursday, September 4, 2008

Guilt Free

Chocolate... that's what is on my mind today. Chocolate. And since I'm the master puppeter of this show - that's what we are talking about. See now the truth comes out; running as an outlet for nervous energy you say? Nah! For the guilt free consumption of chocolate. But hold on there, not just any chocolate, dark dark chocolate. Or as dear hubby would say the kind that sucks all the moisture out of your mouth leaving you longing for a glass of water or milk. At least 70% dark if you please. and you can hold the milk and the water.... Bring on the coffee. Nothing goes better with a rich dark chocolate than a rich dark brewed coffee.

And alas.... as the nursing mommy of baby 3 chocolate is not as prevalent as I would like it to be. And even further down the lane of depression is the fact that since i've started back at school - my supplier seems to have dried up completely. And all the running i've been doing i'm fully intending on banking up for guilt free chocolate consumption. The mysterious disappearance of chocolate and the increased amount of homework are linked in some magical way - I just know they are.

But guilt free isn't just about chocolate, although as just proven I could go on and on about it. It's about time and space and everything in between. For me, it's about learning to claim a space and time that is my own and taking and rejoicing in that moment without guilt. Yes I can has become my new mantra; Yes i can get up early and it's okay. Yes i can stay up to do homework and it's okay. Yes I can spend extra time away after class to study and it's okay. The mommy responsibilities are all still there waiting for me. Yesterday we learned proper deep breathing in my practice class. IN with the good air all the way down to your belly "yes i can be here now and everyone will survive" - out with the bad air and tension. Relax relax relax..... The down side to this is of course that the nursing momma that's away from baby 3 tends to leak when too relaxed. So today I'm rejoicing in the invention of nursing pads.

And in the words of N.J. " I'll be thinking about you"....

Running total - nearly 11km and counting.
think of all that chocolate?

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